Japanglish: Words Happiness Meaning Let's Sunshine!

bitch!
A handbag made for women!

Text: If all Politician rode motorcycles Then road wouldn't have potholes
For every keen motorcyvlist at last truty custom tailored bike header

Stand a chance Knock on doors
Decorious Speech and Appearance characterize true gentlemen
Neat and Tidy wear a respectable suit of clothes
I'm sure another opportunity will come.
Embrace an opportunity//Exploit an opportunity//Use an opportunity
Make use of the opportunity//Press home an advantage//take occasion
Sunday-go-to-meeting
Adjust oneself//Fix up//smarten up one's appearance//
spruce oneself up//spruce up//tidy oneself
In a no-nonsense manner//In a proper fashion//In the proper way //With neatness

I understand English is not the national, first or spoken language in many Asian countries so it makes sense that people would make mistakes when writing or speaking. That doesn't confuse me.
Also, many countries in Asia including Japan are fascinated with North American and European cultures and obsessed with dressing, eating and looking like these English cultures. So much so that not only do they buy foreign brands like Nike, Levis, GAP and Armani but they create brands in their own country and name them as if they were English brands. As you can see from the pictures above, sometimes the message gets a little misconstrued. Once again this doesn't confuse me. 
What really confuses me is that these companies that want to call their products English names or want to have English written on their products don't bother to get a fluent speaker to spell check or edit the text. So what you get is mixed up, misspelled, incoherent, cut and paste type text that baffles and misinterprets the original message. 
Which makes it not only meaningless but funny as hell! I hope these companies never change their methods. 
Check out the video below to seem some of the weirdest shops and the crazy stuff they sell!
Only in Japan...

I got a Woody!!

I think my Woody is Unbalanced

Asia is the best place to get knock-offs for about every product ever created.  Want a SONY Television but can't afford it? Get a PONY. Need new sneakers? How about some HIKE sneakers? Just do it?
Everything from Luis Bitton (Louis Vuitton)  bags to Solex (Rolex) watches can be purchased at a fraction of the price of the original. The crazy thing is that these knock-offs aren't much lower in quality and sometimes last longer than the original more expensive counterparts.
So after playing the jumbo Jenga at the bar (mentioned in a post from earlier this month) I decided to go to a toy shop and get my own set!
Once their I was presented with two options. The original Jenga with the wood-colored blocks and famous logo or for half the price I could get the colorful wooden knock-off Woody Unbalance.
Save money, have pretty much the same game and have an added bonus of crazy Japanglish written on the blocks! From the picture above I am sure you can guess which one I decided to get!
What is the craziest knock-off you have seen?

The Amazing Spider (2012) 3D: Review

Andrew Garfield dons the new Spidey suit!

I was lucky enough to see The Amazing Spiderman in 3D before it's official release on July 3rd. Not only was this Spiderman cooler, better looking and smarter than the original but he seemed much more disturbed about his new role. He was the new Twilight-esque Edward Emo character stumbling through his discoveries into a full fledged superhero.
I will say that this Spiderman movie is much more entertaining than Spiderman 2 and 3. However does it stand up to the original Spiderman played by Tobey McGuire? Yes and No.
In terms of effects, the new one does much better but that is to be expected considering it is newer and has a bigger budget (I'm guessing here). The actors in this version are also much more likable than the last. Maybe it is just me but I couldn't stand Mary Jane the character or the actress Kristen Dunst.  Unlike the damsel in distress always needing rescuing by Spiderman in the original the new character Gwen Stacy is a stronger, adept and helpful character which is integral to the success of Spiderman.
The story line sticks close to the original movie but I liked how they did leave somethings open for speculation. Without ruining it for those of you who haven't seen it yet, I really liked how they dealt with the story of Peter Parker's parents. Stick around for the credits since there is a hidden scene in there.
Visually and story wise I think this Spiderman did an excellent job at keeping the movie young, fresh and exciting while ensuring that comic book and Spiderman fans didn't leave feeling betrayed and sold out.
The dialogue in the original movie was much better than the newer one and Tobey McGuire was much better at pulling off a nerdy, goofy type but Andrew Garfield brought a new element into Peter Parker's character. He was much more distraught and dark which I am sure younger fans will appreciate since both Harry Potter and Edward from Twilight use similar teen angst.
The final verdict is this: It's not Shakespeare nor is it going to be considered one of the greatest cinematic achievements in history. It is predictable and filled with action and adventure. But for a summer blockbuster and a good time it won't disappoint. Don't waste your money on 3D though.

Check out this YouTube video to hear my reaction after watching the movie:

Dirty Old Man: The Bar!

Happy Hour from 10am to 4am

It's Friday night. Work is done and you just want to lay back and relax with a nice cold beer with some friends. Of course it would be nice to have some pretty ladies to drink with to make the night more fun.
Well if that is your idea of a good time then this is not the place for you. The bar in this picture has a specific target market: Dirty Old Men! I like this sign for two reasons. One is obviously there is probably no other place in the world except Japan where this bar would exist and continue to exist.
Second, and most amazing is the directness of the message. This bar doesn't try to pretend it's something it's not. Everyone planning to come into this bar knows what to expect and what the clientele will be like.
Haven't you been walking through the clubbing district in your city and seen signs for bars like Fluid, Passion, Blue Twilight and Aphrodite and expected there to be groups of hot young girls intoxicated waiting to find a handsome man to take them home? Only to find that you get in there and there is two couples and groups of drunk, horny men hoping someone of the opposite persuasion will walk through the door.
Well at Dirty Old Man you will have zero expectations. In fact if there is a female in the joint it would almost be false advertising. And unlike other code words for bars made for dirty old men like The Firkin and the Owl or The Goose and the Ferret, this place gives people exactly what they asked for; a haven for old single men desperate for that scotch on the rocks and reason to exist.
Dirty Old Man is a revolution in the alcoholic establishment industry giving their target audience not only a chance to drink away their sorrows but to proudly be surrounded by similar like-minded individuals.
One day when I am a dirty old man, I hope I can find my Dirty Old Man bar to serve me!
Only in Japan...

The NEW OZZY Theme!!

Most of you who read my blog also watch my YouTube Channel. I have been making videos now for about two years and I have never missed a week. Now that is dedication!
Along the way I have met many really cool You Tubers, done collaboration videos with some of them, been part of community videos, made video responses, left comments and interacted with the greatest community on the planet.
Now thanks to my friend Jericho(who also has a blog and you should read it) made a theme song for my channel! Not only is it catchy but it captures my channel perfectly. I will be using this theme for my upcoming vlogs but to be one of the first people to watch it here it is!

My new video idea...

I usually upload funny pictures on this blog and make fun of whacky things in Japan. And I also have a YouTube channel that does the same. You have probably already seen it but if not here is the link to my channel:
http://www.youtube.com/ozzy78


Well, of course I have many ideas in my head of what I want to talk about or show you the audience. But there are tons of other people around me who are not getting the attention they deserve. Honestly,  I think I am not getting the attention I deserve either but that's a whole other story.

So I created a new video called Head to Head. I take 3 videos from different users who all have less than 1000 views on their video. Then I ask the viewers to vote for the best. The winner then moves on to the next video to face 2 new challengers.

I think its a really good way for many people to see videos they might not usually see. And it gives exposure to all 3 video makers and myself.

Will it be successful? I don't know. Should I give up? I have given myself a test for about 3 or 4 episodes before I decide to scrap the idea.
Take a look and let me know if you have any suggestions.

Little Pricks! Want one?

Two pricks for the price of one!

Yes, the package is grammatically incorrect. It should be Little Pricks not Little Prick since there are two. But that is the least of their concern.

This is the line of small fluffy toys that are being sold across Japan in a craft shop. Mothers buy these little pricks for their kids. Then the kids take these little pricks to school to show off. The kid with the most little pricks in the class is then named Biggest Little Prick.

Only in Japan...

Yoda wants to do what?????

BOIL JAPAN. Always in motion is the future. Believe in your own power, you must. May the force be with Japan.

That is the concept of this poster. There are posters, billboards, TV spots with this theme all across Japan. What are they selling? Cup Ramen. At first I had no idea what this was about so just seeing Boil Japan made me cringe.  Now I kinda get it.

Why Yoda? Well he speaks backwards. Which is what Japanese is like compared to English. So I can see why they chose the character. And I guess Star Wars will always be popular so I can even see why a cup noodle company might want to cash in on the Star Wars fans.  But Boil Japan? Who thought up that slogan? And even if some Japanese ad exec. who has no idea about English just used Google translate to come up with this slogan, why did George Lucas approve this?

Boil Japan to me sounds like something North Korea would say when plotting ways to destroy their neighboring nation.  Hmm...

Only in Japan...