I kept this seat warm for you!

I rule my kingdom from this throne

So you have heard everyone talk about the amazing technology Japan has to offer. Probably about robots, sliding doors, vending machines and talking elevators. Well,  I am here to tell you about my favorite Japanese technological advancement: The Toilet.  I used to be one of those people that would never use a public toilet for number two. But now, feeling that movement in my bowels brings excitement knowing I will be using one of these amazing toilets.  Here are just a few of the amazing features:

• the seat is pre-warmed for you (by an internal heater not by someone else's butt)
• there is a bidet attached to help you get that fresh feeling
• after wetting your bottom, there is a drier to ensure your fanny gets...fanned
• bidet is available in boy and girl zone. I hope I don't need to explain that
• for shy people, there is a button attached that has either a flushing sound or music while you go so no one can hear you do your business

If these reasons didn't convince you than maybe the fact that the toilet seat rises and falls automatically using a sensor should convince you that this is one of the greatest inventions for humanity and harmony.

Pretty in Pink!

Established in 1952 by Barbie

No, this is not a photo with trick lighting. This pink monstrosity really is a chain store in Aeon Jusco malls across Japan.  This is not a candy store. This is not a kids shop. This is an adult woman's fashion and accessory shop. 
Not all clothing shops in Japan look like this. But I am pretty sure these extremely bright, eye sores are more common only in Japan.  Japanese girls love pink. It is "kawaii!" so where there is a demand there must be a supply.  Who knows maybe I might end up getting pink fluffy slippers and join the kawaii crowd.

Only in Japan...

I'd like to thank the Academy!

I'd like to thank my parents!

So I was looking through my pictures of Japan and I came across this jewel...well actually gold.  And since the Oscars just happened,  I thought'd be perfect.  This life size Oscar trophy is actually a girl wearing nothing a but a thong bikini painted in gold.  Yes, she is topless. And yes, those are real ( as if there were any doubt).

This picture was taken in Osu at a street festival. She was part of a group of men and women who were involved in a modern dance show.  After the show they were walking around asking for donations and taking pictures.  I couldn't resist.  And that pose was all her idea.

Only in Japan....

Poon's R' Us!

Must be this tall to ride!

Another example of bad English. However, this time it was grammatically correct (in texting slang) but maybe not quite appropriate.  So when you see this slightly racist statue of a little kid with an Afro (avec pick) in his hair wearing a t-shirt admitting his love for female genitalia you wonder what's beyond. 

Is it a strip club? Nope.  Is it an adult video store? Nope. Is it a sex shop with paddles, whips, dildo's and other paraphernalia? Wrong, wrong, wrong.  This statue is in Osu, a shopping arcade in Nagoya, and sits at the bottom of the steps to a store that sells...wait for it....children's toys. 

Stuffed animals, Lego, dolls, Naruto, Dragonballz, Hello Kitty all reside in this toy store along with a cute welcome figure of a boy on the search for some fem-crotch.  When there is a line, somehow Japan seems to not only cross, but leap over it. 

Only in Japan...

I've got one hand in my pocket and the other's...

If I rub it will a genie appear?

No, this is not in Vegas at the Annual Adult Industry convention. This is in Japan. This is part of the penis festival which takes place every year.  The Honen Matsuri takes place in Komaki city.  Tons of people of all ages and backgrounds gather to watch a giant wooden penis being carried.  Even the Shinto priests walking along have these hats that kind of remind me of a phallic symbol.  The festival has tons of food stands which all try to cater to the celebration of fertility.  Dipped chocolate bananas with marshmallow heads, phallus shaped candy, cookies, etc, etc.

There is also a festival dedicated to the women's southern region but I have not yet been to that one.  The festival which sounds odd is actually quite fun. It's not just a bunch of perverts getting drunk. In fact, the female to male ratio might be higher.  It is a good time where one can enjoy drinking, eating delicious food, meeting happy and friendly people alongside giant wooden male parts.  And women often rub the testicle region when trying to conceive.  Only in Japan...

Inappropriate Japanglish...

Everyone knows about all the bad English that is found in Asia.  Whether it is on t-shirts, signs, billboards, brochures, menus or magazine, Japan is filled with bad grammar.  It is also very interesting to see how popular phrases that would sound fine in Japanese when translated comes out strange and sometimes profound. 

I took this picture above in Nagoya in the city centre (Sakae).  A nice young couple walking along the shopping district with their little daughter. A perfect Sunday in Japan. Except for the T-shirt that asks in big red letters to "Touch Me Now".  I have seen worse but I didn't have my camera.  At first it was shocking. Now its just funny.  In fact, I try to find the weirdest ones I can find and send them back to my friends back home.

Only in Japan...

2 Geisha's 1 Cup!

These are actually tourists dressed as Geisha...sorry!

So one thing that definitely is unique to Japan is Geisha.  Sure other countries have women who have had similar roles such as courtesans or escorts but the actual Japanese women who are trained in the music, art, kimono, make up and role of Geisha are unique to Japan.  Once, one of the major parts of Japanese society, Geisha were regarded as upper class, elite individuals with high intelligence and dedication.  They were set apart from "regular" Japanese women.  They were also high above the working girls hired out for prostitution.

The job a Geisha was not only to entertain the men who visited them, but to enhance the atmosphere and bring intelligent conversation and provide cultural entertainment such as dance and playing Japanese instruments like shamisen and koto.  Now, it is rare to see Geisha walking the streets in Kyoto as this form of employment is in decline. It still exists but is very hard to seek out.  Instead, girls are now "hostesses" which are girls who are paid to pour drinks, sit with men and create a pleasant atmosphere. The hostess is the modern Geisha who instead of sharing musical talent and intelligent conversation is more an object of beauty to admire and to stroke the men's egos.

The thing I find interesting about Geisha and their modern counterpart hostesses, is the fact that men will pay much more to be with these type of women than with normal prostitutes. Even though the prostitutes are cheaper and provide physical pleasure.  Geisha and hostess rarely have any physical relationship with their clients. And if they do, it doesn't come cheap.  Only in Japan...

Oh Deer!

Scarier than they look...

So you are wondering what is so scary about deer? No one was afraid of Bambi. In fact, deer all over the world are considered a timid animal that it is nearly impossible to get close to. Also, deer are found all over the world, how could this be unique to Japan?

Well, the deer in Japan, specifically in Nara, are much different than the typical deer.  Years of walking free through the town, mixing with tourists, roaming free much like the cows of India they fear nothing.  It also doesn't help that all around Nara there are food stands that sell sembei crackers to feed the deer.  They breed, run around everywhere and sometimes even attack children.  But despite all that, they are cute!

It was interesting to me that I would walk through the temples and see a family of deer just hanging out by the tori (gate).  Or when I was thirsty and was getting a can of coke from the vending machine a deer stood by and watched me struggle with my change.

So if you ever go to Nara, make sure you have no food in your pockets unless you want to get harassed by a swarm of deer. And don't forget to take a picture with the deer because in almost every other country you might not have the chance. Only in Japan..

Travel in a Coffin!

Object looks bigger than it is...

So many people who have heard of the busy city of Tokyo will hear of strange bars, cafes and hotels.  Something that is popular with the travelling businessman is the capsule hotel.  The image people have is a small, stuffy, box like a coffin where they shove humans.  However, I stayed in a few capsule hotels during my travel in Japan and I enjoyed the experience. 

Imagine a shower stall at your local YMCA or a Port-o-potty. Now knock it over. That is about the size of a capsule. And there is usually a long corridor with these capsules lined up. There is also a capsule above you so its almost like bunk beds.  The interior is that plastic/PVC material and there is a small futon as a mattress.  Above you on the "ceiling" is a small TV with a couple of local channels and a 10 second preview for an adult film. You need to insert coins I guess for it to unlock the channel.  Next to you against the wall is a ledge where you can put your watch or wallet. It also has an alarm clock, light switches, heating/cooling switches and a radio. Not bad!

Now if there was a full on door, I am sure most people would pass out or die from the lack of air. So instead there is a blind that rolls down for privacy. Laying there knowing I wasn't trapped and could simply open the blind I felt much more calm than I expected to feel. And since all my luggage was in the locker provided I felt free from worry.  The communal shower room was pretty clean and had an onsen (jacuzzi) and the lobby had a nice cafeteria with cheap but delicious food.

The price wasn't bad at all. The capsule I stayed at was in the heart of Tokyo, next to the train station and only cost me about 2500 yen.  I would definitely stay there again.  Usually capsule hotels are only for men but this hotel had different floors so women were on a separate floor. 

If you would rather spend money on sightseeing and the awesome food Japan has to offer and don't really care about where you sleep as long as its comfortable and safe then I highly recommend a capsule hotel. Plus its a good story to tell all your friends who have never been to Japan.  "I stayed in a coffin size box called a capsule hotel in Tokyo!" . Only in Japan...

The Polite Construction worker!

The Japanese have a reputation of being polite. This has been exaggerated and in all honesty it is not entirely true.  Yes, the language itself has been built with different levels of politeness and there is a hierarchy of standards required when speaking and communicating with people but Japanese are people too.  Some are more polite than others. Everyone can be rude, mean, pushy, aggressive or cruel.  No one can be polite all the time.  That being said, on the surface Japanese culture is very considerate and polite of others; especially in public.  So signs and posters will frequently have cute mascots or polite looking people apologizing for everything. 

This picture is of my friend Jason and I in Nagoya while walking around. Of course there are many construction sites with many signs warning of construction ahead and apologizing for any inconvenience. We just found this sign a little funny as the cartoon of the construction worker bowing amused us.